I'm not a good sagger.
When my pants are falling off me and hanging down on my butt, it's just not a good look for me.
I'm trying to get ready for vacation...
...and having lost some weight recently, I realized I can't really go on a road trip with shorts that are much too big.
You know how when you sit in a car for a long time it makes your shorts all baggy anyway?
I told Mr. Jenny I needed to get some new shorts.
I told Mr. Jenny that I couldn't get capris because I have stubby little legs and capris make me look like I have fat dachsund legs.
Mr. Jenny replied, "Yeah, those capris things are weird anyway. It's like a woman can't commit. Are they shorts? Are they pants? Geez, I can't pick...I guess I'll wear capris."
I was silent...processing this onslaught of fashion opinion from...ummm...the decidedly unfashionable Mr. Jenny.
But then Mr. Jenny informed me that I needed to get the shorts I always wear ANYWAY because the capris make me look bowlegged.
Ummm... good to know. I think.
In July in Arizona shorts are in ...ummm...short supply...
So we went to store after store looking for Bermuda shorts.
There were a gazillion capris. (bowlegged?!?!)
And a gazillion short shorts. (not a good look on a chubby BOWLEGGED!!!! woman!)
But hardly any Bermuda shorts.
It took five Kohl's, one Dress Barn and two K-marts before I finally found Lee Rider Bermuda shorts in my size.
I bought both of them.
I tried them on for Mr. Jenny.
He said they look great.
I asked him if I looked bowlegged in them.
He said, "Look, everybody is bowlegged. It's not, like, an insult and how many times do we have to talk about that statement anyway?"
I huffed a bit. I didn't realize I had tried to discuss it quite that much.
But really, is trying to find clarity on being bowlegged, and exactly how bowlegged you are, a thousand or two times really unnatural? I think not.
And, sadly, there is a small possibility that I might be a bit obsessed about possibly being bowlegged now.
And that makes me worried if my diet continues successfully how I will find the next lower size of Bermuda shorts.
I don't even know where Bermuda is, actually.
But I'm willing to go there if it means I can camoflauge looking bowlegged.
The things I am subjected to in this household.