Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Alphabe-Thursday "K"

Good morning class!

I am so happy to be here to celebrate the letter "K" with you on Alphabe-Thursday. Mr. Matlock and I had planned to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro this week...and it is just lucky for you that my knee was killing me and we had to Kancel our trip.


And since I have an appointment at the kiropractor I am going to be brief this week.


If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 8:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Class is dismissed.

Please file your letter "K" papers in the MckLinkey now, Class.

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I feel kind of bad...

I know a lot of you come here for a smile in your day and, frankly, today I'm going to let you down.

Because I need to talk about something kind of serious.

And to actually make a confession.

I'm not really as nice as a lot of you think I am. No, that's not the confession. Give me a second here.

Let me take a deep breath and gather my courage.



C'mon Jenny, you can do this.

OK, it's about Spider Solitaire. Do you know that game?

If you don't know what I'm talking about just quit reading right now...

and...ummm....have a nice day.

And, yes, I am really, really very, very nice.

So Bye now.


OK, is anyone still here?

Anyone know about Spider Solitaire?

OK, have you ever tried using Spider Solitaire as a giant magic 8 ball? As in, if I win this game then everything will be all right in my world.


As in...if I win this game and only use the undo button once everything will be sort of all right and I will probably survive whatever is bothering me.

Because that's the confession.

I use the undo button sometimes and sometimes I even use the control key that shows me the next move. Accckkk.

I feel cheap now.

But I think confession is probably good for the soul.



I actually use the undo button and the control key that shows the next move a lot. Sometimes I use it for the whole game.

And I pretend that I didn't so I can trick the little part of the Universe that is controlled by Spider Solitare into telling me everything will be all right in my world.


And now I feel all dirty.

And cheap.

And I think I need to take a shower.

And I almost wish I could hit the undo button for this whole post.

But I can't.

Because I am committed to bringing you important breaking news here at Jenny Matlock off on my tangent at all costs.

And I am willing to bare my soul for the sake of journalistic integrity.

And no personal sacrifice is ever too much.



You're welcome.

OK, go ahead.


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Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Do you have a small paper bag laying around?

I'm trying to be calm.

But I am still feeling the pressing need to breathe into a paper bag.

And I'm really trying not to hyperventilate ...


Do you know summer vacation is only 59 days away.

In 59 days I will have all three of our Grands three days a week. Three long, long days filled with energizer bunny energy, non-stop talking, eating us out of house and home.

In 59 days I will hear the word "Grandma? Grandma? Grandma?" shouted, whispered, whined and whimpered to me approximately 49.3 times per day. Per child.

I'm frightened.

I have gotten a lot older since last years summer vacation.

Or else perhaps I should rephrase that and say I have gotten a lot older because of last years summer vacation.

So I have a plan.

I am going to the store to buy earplugs.

I am going to the doctor to get a prescription for tranquilizers. For the kids. But, sssshhh....don't tell my daughter-in-law.

I am going to the liquor store to buy some kind of alcohol. Technically I am allergic to alcohol but I think if I start now I can build up some kind of resistance to the allergy in 59 days.


But even though I'm panicking just a bit...

...the truth is I'm excited...

...and I'm counting my blessings...

...all three of our chattery, energetic, messy, adorable, sweet, cuddly blessings...

...and I feel totally lucky that I will get to hear the word "Grandma" shouted, whispered, whined and whimpered almost 150 times a day!

And I'm wondering if it is really odd that even though I do recognize how lucky I am...

...that I still think it's not a bad idea to find a stock of small paper bags just in case I hyperventilate over the fact that Summer break is in ... gulp! ... 59 days!


And now I have got that off my chest I want to get this off my chest, too!

The winner of the little bird tree.

It's so weird because when I went to Random Org this morning it kept telling me that I had won it! Really.


Who am I to fight with Mr. Random Org.



I'll do the giveaway now. Keep your aprons strings tied. Here's the real winner.

Here are your random numbers:
11 Timestamp: 2010-03-30 15:59:44 UTC

And post 11 is this one:

Ms. Anthropy said...
Is it just me, or do those birds look like the ones from "Follow me on Twitter"?

Congratulations Ms. Anthropy!

Please e-mail me me your address so I can get this in the mail to you today!

And for the rest of you.

Tie up your apron strings. And go find me that paper bag now, please!


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Monday, March 29, 2010

So...if chickens get up when the rooster crows...

...when do ducks get up?



At the quack of dawn, of course!

I bet you'd like to find the person who gave me this YOLK book and smack them, wouldn't you.

But don't smack me because I have stuff to tell you.

First of all...guess who the winner is from Saturdays giveaway?

This was definitely a first for me....

Because this is what Mr. Random Org told me...

Here are your random numbers:
Timestamp: 2010-03-29 14:31:34 UTC

...which corresponds with this post...

Annesphamily said...
I love this giveaway! Girl you have a serious Easter collection! You need to see Debbie Dabble at I love the giveaway! I love Easter and I love visiting Jenny! Happy Saturday to you! You know I already follow you!

Congratulations Anne! Please e-mail me right away with your address so Jen can get your package shipped off to you!

And now for the bad news.

The lamb cookie cutters. Accckk!!!! Those cookies were hard to decorate. ...and even our Uncle Joe who owns a sheep farm in the frozen tundra of South Dakota had trouble... ...but the rest of the cookie decorating went pretty well...

...and the swing got quite a workout...
... and three little girls learned how to climb walls and trees... ... and people enjoyed the sunshine...especially those from the frozen North...

... and everyone got into the egg decorating...

... and it was really a fun day!

Can I offer you a cookie now?
...and since I'm on your sweet side now I'm wondering if you could send a little prayer and good wishes to our blog and Alphabe-Thursday friend, Kathy C. She is having knee replacement surgery today and it would be nice if you could send your positive healing wishes toward her and her husband, Jeff.

Happy Monday! Hope yours is sweet!

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Sunday, March 28, 2010

What kind of a room can an Easter Bunny never go into?

OK, this one is bad. Please don't throw rotten tomatoes at me.




A Mushroom!

Hey, I got it out of my YOLK book. You can't roll your eye at me. Although I think some of you might have done just that!


A few important things first...

Did you enter the giveaway for the pan from Friday? Did you enter the other giveaway for Easter from Saturday?

Did you enter this giveaway?


Oh. Yea. OK.

I guess I didn't tell you about it yet, did I?

I like this. I think it is tweet. I hope you do, too! But if you don't it's kind of a no harm/no foul thing cuz then you can just not enter.

You can still leave me a comment saying something like "why are you giving these lame prizes? Where is the $10,000.00 cash prize?

And I will laugh politely and delete your comment.

Because I don't want anyone to ever, ever think I will give away $10,000. Unless I win like a gazillion dollars somewhere. And then I would share but since that probably won't be happening you are just stuck with this tweet little prize.
It's made of metal and ceramic and I think it would like really cute in that spot in your home.

You know the spot! The spot right by the thing-a-majig!

So two chances to win.

Chance 1: Comment on this post today. Say anything you want but no begging for 10 grand. I don't have it, I tell ya.

Chance 2: Comment on this post tomorrow. I probably wont have the 10 grand then either.

I'll do the drawing Monday evening so I can ship this off to you bright and early on Tuesday so you have plenty of time to put it in that spot by the thing-a-majig before Easter!

So...what do you call jelly beans at the beach?


Sandy candy...


On what side does the Easter Bunny have the most fur?




The outside! Geez, I thought everybody knew that.

And now I am off to prepare for an invasion of family for our annual Easter cookie and Easter egg decorating brunch!

I'm excited because I got new cookie cutters this year and one is a lamb!

Have a Hoppy Sunday! Hope it is Eggs-tra special for you all!

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Saturday, March 27, 2010

Do you know how the Easter Bunny Leaves a Room?

Well, d'oh....through the Egg-sit, of course!




Moving on.

So... you know how I was all excited and doing the happy dance because I won a cool prize? It came yesterday! And it is even cooler then I thought it would be!

Here is our little Mo holding it. She wanted it. I'm a bad Grandma because I told her "NO, it's mine all mine!" Is that selfish? And look, Oskar even liked it, too! See how cute it looks with my bunny collection? I'm embarassed to show you the whole thing....seriously, how many people have like 139 bunnies decorating their house at Easter? And I am also ashamed that I can't figure out how to make this photo display correctly. I saved it about four times. So you're just gonna have to tilt your head. Sorry. Consider it aerobic exercise or something.

And, I also got this adorable little Chick card which fits in perfectly with my Chick collection, which again, I refuse to show all of. Sigh... So I have this cool thing. And you don't.




OK. Yes, I said I was going to do another giveaway today.

But I decided after further thought to keep the giveaway because it is adorable!


This is it!!!!! Another totally quirky, cute, vintage-y masterpiece by Jen!
Ahhh.... I love it. AND it would go great with my LAMB COLLECTION!

But I will be nice and actually do the giveaway.

But before I do I have an important question for you.

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like best?


Well, d'oh.

Hip-Hop, of course.

Hey, I heard that groan.

OK, then, how about this one?

Why did the Easter Bunny cross the water park?




Gosh, you people are joke and riddle challenged I think.

It is because he wanted to get to the other SLIDE!



Yea. Slightly ashamed of my silly jokes.

But before I slink off let me give you the giveaway guidelines.

You must be a follower.
You can enter today by just saying "HI" AND
You can enter on Sunday as well by saying "HI AGAIN" on this post.
Two chances. Easy peasy.

And so Jen can get this mailed to you so you have it be Easter I will do the drawing Sunday night.

There will be another Easter-ish giveaway on Sunday as well.

And don't forget to enter the cool Le Creuset pan giveaway from yesterday.


One last question for you.

Where does the Easter Bunny find all his jokes?



Geez! You didn't get that one either?

From the YOLK BOOK! Of course.

Saturday errands are calling...

And I'm gonna listen!

Have a happy Saturday!

And good luck!

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Friday, March 26, 2010

Good morning! Good giveaway!

Oh, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the coffee is brewing, and it's a giveaway day!

BUT perhaps the most important thing is...

The dog got a bath yesterday so he is not interrupting my happy morning with weiner dog smelliness.



I'm excited.

Because now, officially, PW has nothing on me because I get to do a giveaway for a Le Creuset pan!

It's not the super-duper heavy ones that feel like you are lifting a pan filled with bricks...but it is awesome AND it comes in great colors.

CSN Stores is an on-line mall with over 200 stores and the sweet lady that e-mailed me said I could pick what caught my eye with my giveaway budget.

She sent me links to quite a few of their great stories including one for for Kids Beds and for some of their kitchen and gardening stores.

Before I started dreaming and drooling over the kitchen stores, I spent quite a bit of time looking at daybeds on Kids Beds site because I have been thinking I need to get one. When our Grands spend the night we don't have enough sleeping space anymore and I think a daybed would be a great choice. They have some really cool looking ones but you probably don't really care about that do you?

You just want to know how to win the pan.


So here's the skinny on the giveaway.

You can earn 3 chances to win a cool 6 quart Le Creuset stock pot in your choice of kiwi (shown), cobalt, black onyx, white, caribbean, cherry, dune or dijon. Click here to see all the color choices.

Chance number 1. You must be a follower of this blog. Just tell me you are!

Chance number 2. Please click here and tell me which kids bed you would choose from this great site.

Chance number 3. Show this giveaway in a link on your blog and list the link in a third comment.

Winner will be selected using my friend, Mr. Random Org on Wednesday March 31.


since I've got my giveaway game on there will be two more Easter-ish giveaways on Saturday and Sunday.

But, be warned, there are jokes and riddles involved.

Mwahahahaha! (evil laugh)

And just to get you in the mood...

How does the Easter Bunny keep his coat looking so nice?



ummm.... yea....that would be HARE SPRAY!


I just crack myself up sometimes!

Good luck on the giveaway.

And just because it's Friday...


Oh, and here's another giveaway for some Rachel Ray Pans!

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

"J" is for Jubilant Jenny

I'm happy today!

It's "J" day! And some of my favorite people in the world names start with the letter J!

And I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to write about today...


Then I got this e-mail...

From J. Nichelle's Holiday blog!!!!

Telling me I won her giveaway.

For this... I totally love this prize and I am soooo excited to get it. She is mailing it out right away so I can have it by Easter.


If that's not enough J-eliciousness her name is Jen!

And, no, you can't have it.

But you can go to her website by clicking here to look at her other cool stuff you can order.

And now, just because I had all these cool pictures lined up for my "J" post I have to share this little series of our oldest Granddaughter, JJ.

I used to babysit her five days a week (which I adored) so I was lucky enough to be able to take pictures of her first encounter with solid food.

Doesn't eating rice cereal look appetizing?

But, oh, isn't she sweet?

This post is brought to you by the letter "J"!

PS. Just to let you know tomorrow I'm doing a giveaway...

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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Alphabe-Thursday "J"

Good morning class!

I am Just so Jovial about our letter for Alphabe-Thursday.

It is the letter "J"!

I am Justifiably Jubilant about reading all the class papers this week. I was actually slightly Jealous of the talent you all showed in your Letter "I" links.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you.

The McLinkey will be live from 8:00 pm MST time Wednesday night through 8:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog (since there are prizes involved and it makes my life easier that way), PG posts only, and try to visit all the other students! The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

And with no further Jabbering...Class is dismissed.

Please file your letter "J" papers in the MckLinkey now, Class.

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It's official! I'm one step closer... that great shuffleboard court in the sky.
When anything from AARP shows up in the mail I don't even look at it...I just throw the envelopes at my husband saying "hey, this is for you OLD shuffleboard man!"

So I was shocked recently when he threw one back at me saying, "this is for you OLD shuffleboard woman!"

Which, frankly, ticked me off even though there was MY name, written VERY clearly, on that dumb envelope.


It is only cute when I say mean stuff like that.


If getting AARP stuff in the mail wasn't bad enough, now they are adding insult to injury and sending me e-mails, too.

And yesterday they e-mailed me that they have a free offer for me if I join.

And at first I wasn't really thinking about taking them up on it.

Even though sometimes when I am out shopping, the twelve year old clerk will say "Oh, it's your lucky is Senior Discount day!"

...and I am torn between wanting to smack her and my greedy wish to save 10% off my Joanne Fabrics total.

And the free gift would be useful for that.

Just in case my wrinkles and sagging skin didn't give it away, you know!

Plus I keep seeing signs at my neighborhood grocery store saying "senior discount - 5% off your grocery total on Tuesdays".

And the free gift would be useful for distracting the cashier so she didn't ask for my ID. Because they do that, you know? It says right on the sign..."with valid drivers license" which is the only reason I haven't really ever tried it.


But the real reason I think the free gift would be cool is because now the grocery store is also giving out cupcakes, cookies and coffee on Senior shopping day!

And I'm certain that if I was carrying my cool, free gift the other Seniors would get out of my way which would make it so much easier to get to the chocolate cupcakes with the white icing and multi-colored sprinkles before they are all gone.

And that is important.

So...thanks AARP.

Life is sweet.

And, luckily for me, I have always kinda/sorta liked playing shuffleboard!


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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Hey, can we talk about medical equipment here for a second?

This is important so pay attention. There may even be a pop quiz when we're done here.

Do you know how many cool kinds of thermometers they make now?

You know how they used to just have this kind of thermometer? For both ends?

Now they have colorful digital thermometers... ... and cute ones made for those of us with child-like hearts... ... and even these kind that are combination pacifier and thermometer ... ...although I'm not sure how long you would have to suck on that to get an accurate reading.

And I even googled online thermometer stores to give you a link but, weirdly, I couldn't find any.

And the reason I am providing this important medical equipment information today for you is because I like you.

And I worry about your health.

And I just wanted to help.

Because yesterday when I was hopping around the blogosphere I found that many of you were all suffering from the same malady...

...and since I am all about being helpful and kind I wanted to assist with your illness... So now you know what you can use to find out if you really have a raging case of Spring Fever!

You're welcome.

And guess what?

There isn't a pop quiz.

Cuz that would be dumb.

And weird.

And I would never, ever do anything like that here at JennyMatlock Off on my Tangent.



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