Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter O



Good morning class.

Welcome to round nine of Alphabe-Thursday! Today we will be studying the outrageous letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

Don't worry that I haven't been by to visit your N links yet!   I promise I'll catch up soon!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and you must visit at least 10 other posts...perhaps consider starting from the last posts and work backwards. The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please don't be ornery. Link up your "O" post now!
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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter N


Good morning class. Welcome to round nine of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today I  will share the nice letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

It'll be a few weeks before I visit your N links.   I am current on the M's, though at this time!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your nifty "N" post now!
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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

M is for Mesmerized

He is mesmerized by the wind on the pool water...
 
...and by the fact a lounge pillow is NOT where it's supposed to be.
 
 
This little M post is linked to Alphabe-Thursday.   To read other magical links, just click here.
 
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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Alphabe-Thursday Letter M


Good morning class. Welcome to round nine of Alphabe-Thursday!

Today I will moderate your offerings for the letter:


Please link directly to your Alphabe-Thursday URL (if you don't know how to do this let me know!) and please continue to visit the five links before and after your link and leave a comment. Minimum of 10 links visited please. You can visit more if you like, of course.

I'm working, as always, to get caught up!

If you have any difficulties with your link, please make sure to include the number of the link when you e-mail me. It is really difficult for me to find you easily otherwise.

If you have any questions about Alphabe-Thursday or problems doing your link just post it in a comment or send me an e-mail. I'll do my best to help you as quickly as I can.

The McLinkey will be live from 1:00 pm MST time Wednesday afternoon in an effort to assist our lovely "friends across the pond" and continue through 10:00 am MST time Friday morning!

And remember.... link back to this post, you need to be registered as a follower of my blog, PG posts only, and visit at least 10 other students (perhaps the 5 students before and after your post). The links will stay live after the final post deadline has passed so you can even wait and visit over the weekend or whenever you have more time.

Please share your mischievious "M' post now!
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Monday, August 11, 2014

L is for...

Looking sweet!

 
 
And L is for leaving on a jet plane, too!
 
To see these other sweet Grandlittles.   And their parents.
 
We're going soon.
 
 
 
 
And we're getting really, really excited!
 
We thought and thought about it and decided if we wait until we are both feeling perfect we may never go at all!
 
So...
 
Carpe Diem!
 
May we live every day of our lives!
 
This post is linked to the letter L.   To read other L links, just click here.

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Cleaning out my desk...

over the weekend helped remind me to clean out my brain.
 
Sometimes I get stuck in stinkin' thinkin'.
 
I hate when I do that.
 
Intellectually I know it's incorrect.
 
But my brain gets going in that narrow groove and I spiral back to feeling like I'm not good enough.
 
And I can pretty much make myself go from being mostly in emotional control to beating myself down in about 1.4 seconds.
 
I used to be able to do it much faster...
 
You know?
 
Calm to stressed out in 1.1 seconds.
 
I think age has slowed the process down.
 
Thank heavens for getting old.
 
Anyway.
 
I found this little scribbled piece of paper under the box of pens that mostly don't work.
 
Because.
 
Yes.
 
I try to use one.
 
See it doesn't work.
 
And throw it back into the same place again.
 
It is oddly empowering, though, to throw the whole box of pens out.
 
Although now I find myself writing with several semi-dried-out magic markers.
 
Sigh.
 
(baby steps, Jenny.   Baby steps)
 
Hmmm.
 
What the heck was I telling you about?
 
Hmmm.
 
Dried out pens?
 
Oh.
 
Yeah.
 
The little poem I wrote and stashed under the dried out pen box in my desk drawer.
 
It made me feel better.
 
It reminded me how far I've come.
 
 
I.
Am.
Enough.
Yes,
I let you bully me,
demoralize me,
demonize me,
belittle and badger me,
and to try your very best to destroy me.
 
But I didn’t let you.
 
 
Because.
I.
was trying to help you.
 
By making you
feel like you WERE enough.
Because.
I.
Am.
Enough.
 
Really.
And how sad for you to never realize that.
 
Deep?   Right?
 
Not about Mr. Jenny. 
 
About many previous people in my life who have mistaken kindness for weakness.
 
...
 
Cleaning out the dried pen box turned out to be a good thing for my weekend.
 
I ended up feeling empowered.
 
So I went on to clean out the baking pan cupboard as well.
 
Sadly there was nothing inspirational there, though.
 
Although I was tempted to tell the freakishly hoarded pile of cupcake liners, "Seriously, you ARE enough"...
 
I didn't want them to get overconfident and start reproducing when I wasn't  watching!
 
Seriously, though.
 
Who has a whole drawer stuffed full of cupcake liners?
 
I packed them all up to donate to the school art department.  Hopefully they'll be more excited than I was with the wide variety of colors and sizes!
 
And hopefully you'll be excited to remember that YOU are enough, too!
 
Just the way you are!
 
Hugs and Happy Monday!
 
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Thursday, August 7, 2014

I cried...

...more than that really...
 
I wept hard
 
in those great gulps that feel like they are choking you.
 
The air smelled acrid and automotive.
 
It was supposed to smell like sawdust and creativity.
 
That's what I wanted it to smell like.
 
But now the place where I painted was filled with Mr. Jenny's jeepster...
 
...and my paints and brushes had mostly been hauled off and donated to the school.
 
"Don't get rid of those things," Mr. Jenny told me.  "You'll paint again.   You'll feel better."
 
I just kept crying.
 
And crying.
 
And finally I mumbled, "I don't want to paint again.  I'm tired of reinventing myself.   I'm too tired to reinvent what I love doing again."
 
I loved painting those signs, you know?  
 
And before that I loved painting tattoo style furniture.
 
And before that I loved painting for my wholesale business.
 
And before that I loved painting on barnwood for art shows.
 
Each time illness found me again, I put my brushes away. 
 
And cried in sorrow.
 
And waited a few years before I reinvented what and how I was doing something I loved.
 
This time was no exception.
 
So I felt sorry for myself.
 
And cried myself sick.
 
It's crazy how time seems to repeat itself.
 
How events seem to spin around and around in dizzying similarity the older you get.
 
No matter how hard you resist.
 
After I dutifully drank the ice water Mr. Jenny gave me.
 
And dried my eyes.
 
And composed my emotions.
 
And gave myself the 'it could certainly be worse' pep talk.
 
And the stern, grammatically awkward warning, 'If I do what I always do, I get what I always got.'
 
After all that,  
 
I continued to clean out the garage cupboards.
 
And...
 
I found the primed and lettered board for a sign I'd never quite gotten to.
 
The pencil lines were faint but I could just make out the words.
 
"This little light of mine...
 
I'm gonna let it shine..."
 
I threw the board on the donate pile and went inside.
 
Today, though, I find myself thinking about the words to that old song.
 
"This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine..."



The lyrics don't go, "I'm gonna let it shine when things are easy peasy for me."
 
It's not, 'I'm gonna let it shine when life is treating me well."
 
These are declarative statement.
 
There is no question marks after them.
 
They don't have a footnote with a whine attached.
 
I wrote out those words on a mustard yellow painted board because they spoke to me. 
 
And I'm just going to give them a little time so they can speak to me again.
 
But in the meantime, I'm just going to shine.
 
In a tiny way.
 
And perhaps in a way that only my heart can see.
 
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